www.sheindress.co.uk/black-prom-dressesHow do you avoid making a meal out of Valentine’s Day? For restaurant critic Joseph Connolly, author of the A to Z of Eating Out, staying in is the most foolproof option. “It helps if you can cook, of course, but if you can’t you can always order a classy takeaway or invest in a supermarket meal deal,” he says.
Not all of us are in a position to pull off a romantic dinner at home, though. Our homes aren’t easily transformed into a candlelit boudoir, particularly if there are flatmates, teenagers or animals in situ. Plus many men would crack under the pressure of cooking Valentine’s dinner, while their dates would cringe at the prospect of eating it. “If your relationship is young it’s mandatory to do the whole eating out thing,” Connolly explains. “And a lot of women have it engrained in their minds that if they’re not taken somewhere marvelous on Valentine’s Day he doesn’t love them.”
Here are Connolly’s tips for enjoying a fun –and fruitful – dinner on one of the busiest and most intense evenings in the restaurant calendar.
1. Is your heart in the right place?
There’s no escaping the fact that a Valentine’s Day invitation is a statement of intent. If you know someone as a friend and suggest having dinner next Friday you will almost certainly be implying that you want more from the relationship. If you’re on the same wavelength this is great but if you’re not sure she feels the same way, probably best schedule dinner for a less meaningful night. It’ll be awkward if you have different ideas about where the evening is heading…
2. Dress to impress
Men are such awful scruffs these days. Women buy new clothes and make-up and shoes to go out (not just to impress the bloke they’re with but the woman on the next table, too) but men think it’s not manly to make an effort. This is ridiculous. If you go out of your way with appearance, she will feel as if she means more to you and you can spend less on dinner.
3. Define “romantic”
The word “romantic” means different things to different people. It all depends on your tolerance levels of cliche and twee. For some, a dingy basement with pink table clothes and crammed together tables conjures up the very essence of romance, while others will be more struck by somewhere lighter and more modern. Personally I like somewhere with enough space between the tables that you’re not distracted by other people and their conversations. Wherever you choose, I’d highly recommend booking in advance as this is one of the busiest nights of the restaurant calendar although if you’re passionately in love, the most romantic place to eat will be wherever you happen to be.
4. Volume control
Work out whether you want to talk or not. For husbands and wives who might not have a great deal to say on Valentine’s Day amid so many smooching couples, I’d suggest a glamorous, buzzy restaurant such as the Wolsley, where you can people watch and soak up the atmosphere. If you fancy being cosy and intimate, I’d recommend somewhere like J Sheeky, either the restaurant or oyster bar, or Wiltons, which has private booths and impeccable service.
5. Don’t pay over the odds
You absolutely don’t have to spend a fortune, whatever stage your relationship is at. Some women think that spending money is a sign that you’re taking them more seriously but she won’t be impressed if you’re frightened of the sommelier or so bill-conscious that you can’t speak. If you don’t have a good local wine bar, there are some pretty decent, good value high street chains such as Cote, which has brought the Ivy to the masses.
6. Rein it in
The odd caress and meaningful glance is all very well but try not to turn Valentine’s Day into a canoodling competition with the tables next to you. You don’t have to touch fingers across the table all night, and you certainly don’t have to feed each other. Just because it happens in Hollywood films does not mean it is expected of you. Valentine’s Day is about embarrassment limitation and given that the man starts off being embarrassed, fooling around with fingers and food is never going to be a happy scenario. If you must, I’d recommend using asparagus spears rather than lobster, which gets everywhere, although some people equate messy with sexy.
7. Get a room
Depending on the stage of the relationship, why not book a restaurant in a hotel (one that might potentially have a room free on Friday night)? The best hotels have opulent dining rooms and if you overdo the champagne, and the evening seems to be going well, you can banish any unromantic thoughts of public transport and make yourself at home. I suggest Claridges.
8. Don’t propose
Romance should be between two people. It’s such a terrible cliché to hide a ring in a goey pudding and encourage your beloved to dig out while the staff and other couples whoop with joy for you. It’s so “look at me” and will only upset all the women who haven’t been proposed to and put the other men under unnecessary pressure. If you have to pop the question on Valentine’s Day, do it somewhere private.
9. The goodnight kiss
One thing is for certain: it’s never going to be just a kiss. Will it be a promise of things to come? Or a fond farewell? If this is the first proper dinner you’ve had together and it’s gone well, you won’t be able to stop yourselves. But if you find yourself uncertain whether to lunge, or dreading the moment, a quick peck on the cheek is probably safest.
10. Try to enjoy it
People forget that Valentine’s Day is meant to be about to be fun. You’re spending rare leisure time and money; it’s not meant to be a trial. The most romantic thing of all is when you’ve put a great deal of thought and time into deciding on the restaurant and your eyes lock across the table and you love the food and you don’t remember what you talked about but you didn’t stop talking for the whole evening. It’s the opening portal to a golden future.
PS: Did I mention staying in?
This is still, in my mind, the best option. You can create your very own little piece of paradise within (although avoid draping chiffon scarves over lamps to create a “romantic” ambiance like they do in films) and buoy yourselves up on pink champagne without paying the restaurant mark-up. It helps if you can cook as there’s nothing sexy about a bad chef, but should the evening go well, it’s all so very much more convenient, because you don’t even have to dress.