What It’s Like to Watch ‘The Bachelorette’ With One of the Bachelors

JJ O’Brien is hot.

I determined this fact weeks ago when I watched The Bachelorette premiere with a group of girlfriends. The self-described “Pantsapreneur” got very little airtime in the first few episodes of this season, but that was just enough to decide that this 6’5”, bow-tie wearing, slacks aficionado was a frontrunner to my Bachelor-loving heart.

So when I was invited over to watch last night’s episode with a group that, thanks to the most glorious of all glorious two degrees of separations ever, would include the Pantsapreneur himself, I was giddy.

My first impression on meeting The Bachelorette contestant in person? Yes, JJ O’Brien is hot.

He doesn’t quite look the same as he does on ABC. He’s filled out a little, looking less lanky than he does on TV, and his hair is more curly than coiffed, probably thanks to the New York City humidity. He isn’t wearing a tie, but he is wearing some of his fancy pants. Naturally.

This is the first time he’s watching the show with close friends (and me), so he’s excited to just be able to actually watch, give us a running commentary of what’s going on, and answer our constant stream of questions, one of which is, what are the questions everyone asks you:

What is Chris Harrison like? (Nice, but really, they spend very little time with him.) Is it real? (It’s totally real—and it feels really real when you’re there. Now, he says, it almost feels like it was a dream.) Do the producers tell you what to say? (No, the most producing that happens is during the confessional interviews and when you see two guys talking alone together, which means they were probably pulled aside for a “man chat” to discuss something that’s going on in the house that the camera might have missed.) How long are the rose ceremonies? (The whole night could be up to six hours long. After the first episode, the guys got back to the house at 7:30 A.M.) Who was your best friend in the house? (Nick V.: They still text every day.) Is Andi pretty in person? (Yes, she’s gorgeous.) Tell me everything about it. (“Well, do you have five hours?”)
elle-00-the-bachelorette-h What It’s Like to Watch ‘The Bachelorette’ With One of the Bachelors
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Because some in the group hadn’t watched Sunday night’s episode—the ep that featured JJ and Andi being transformed into an old couple in what was one of the weirdest dates in Bachelor history—we start off watching that, and DVR the live airing. JJ is sprawled on the floor, totally relaxed in his orange paisley pants (the same print as the ones he gave Andi during their first encounter); I am dying on the couch. The group peppers him with more questions as this Back to the Future-esque date unfolds: “Is this awkward for you, with us watching you kiss her?” “Wait is there tongue?” “Was this date so weird?” “You definitely won’t look like that when you’re an old man. Why does she look so much better than you?” He laughs as we make fun of him kissing her on the carousel, saying it’s not awkward for him to watch, though he forgot he looked like a creepy 80-year-old man when he made his move. And that no, there was no tongue.

But just a bit after 8 P.M., when the live episode was underway, JJ’s phone lights up, with the first of the Twitter mentions coming in. He tells us that he’s been getting messages on social media since the show started, but especially after Sunday night’s episode aired, he’s been getting more, with people saying they identify with him being a self-described geek. “It feels crazy getting these, but it’s so flattering,” he says, showing us one video a girl sent him telling him that she’s a nerd, too, and he should call her if and when he’s kicked off the show. “JJ, she’s cute!” One of the girls says. “She’s like 16!” I reply in an incredulous, yet totally casual, not-at-all-weird-and-jealous voice.

As we watch the rerun, JJ says he doesn’t get really nervous before seeing each episode, because he pretty much knows what to expect. He won’t know what clips they’ve used or exactly how he’s been edited, but that so far he feels like the show accurately portrays you how you really are—whether you like it or not.

But as the tweets start to come in, he gets visibly more anxious. “I guess my hair is really bad?” He says scrolling through his feed. “People are saying I look like a homeless person.” “I guess they don’t like my shirt—I’m wearing a shirt that says ‘Jj’—I thought it was funny,” he explains. “Hey, can we fast forward to watch the new one?” he asks, taking the remote and speeding through Sunday’s rose ceremony.

In the live episode, we watch the guys get divided up into basketball teams on the group date and start battling it out for Andi’s heart bragging rights and a prolonged date with Andi. “This was totally unfair. The WNBA players chose our teams based on how we played against them, but my team sucked. They beat us so badly,” he says, sitting up. “Oh God, I hope they don’t show me pouting in the locker room after.”

When they do show him pouting in the locker room post-steamrolling, the couch full of girls let’s out an “Aww, JJ.” “Is that genuine?” one of the aww-ers asks, as we see him sit back in a locker looking deflated. “Yeah, I was really pissed,” he says. “We sat around like a bunch of girls, eating Ben & Jerry’s.” But he’s serious. I love you.

Later in the night, one of the girls Instagrams a photo of him posing with a rose and a glass of rosé in front of his image on the TV. JJ reposts it and the likes start coming in immediately. “How long do you think it will take to get to 100 likes?” he asks us, watching his phone. The crowd guesses about 15 minutes, and he compulsively checks his Instagram—clicking through to look at some of the people who have double-clicked and reading all of the comments out loud—until he reaches 100, 12 minutes later. We all cheer. “Wait, why is someone giving you a crying face emoji?” someone asks him. “No, that’s a laughing crying face. I’ve only learned my emoticons after this,” he explains. “Oh my God, people love these smiley heart eyes,” he says turning his attention back to his social media.

As drama starts to unfold onscreen, he stops eating his sushi and turns up the volume on the TV: “Wait, wait one second, this is interesting,” he says, quieting the eight of us who have been keeping up a constant chatter about everything from JJ’s flawless pants game to how cute the flower-delivering contestant Nick is. JJ rewinds and we watch as Andi starts arguing with another guy, then gets up and pauses the TV so he can set the scene for us. “So we’re like right here,” he says motioning to one side, “And this is all going down right behind this wall, so all of a sudden we can kind of hear them, and we sneak over to listen. Okay.” I sneak a picture of him doing his dramatic gesturing because I am a loser.

As the episode ended, I was still full-on floating on my Bachelorette fan-girl high. Even though he came off more as a funny, loud-pants wearing dude watching The Bachelorette with seven of his girlfriends, I spent the night going in and out of remembering that this was the guy we were watching on TV. I restrained myself from yelling this was the beeessst as I left, and didn’t ask for a selfie, in an attempt to look dignified/not crazy. I did, however, go in for the hug. But… I kind of wish I’d gotten that selfie.

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