Today is a very special day, folks — and not just because the date is a magical, sequential one (11/12/13). It’s Ryan Gosling‘s 33rd birthday, which gives the entire Internet a legitimate excuse to spend time Google Image-searching its Number One Dreamboat and watch clip after clip on YouTube of his many adorable talk show visits. (Remember when he surprised the entire studio audience at Ellen with a Jumpin’ Jammerz onesie to take home? ‘Cause I do.)
Let’s be real: When it comes to the Web, Gosling is the gift that keeps on giving. Considering all of the joy that his handsome face brings to our lives on a daily basis, I thought about what sort of token I would present him with if I was ever given the opportunity. I’m pretty sure I’d go the easy route and get him something I know he’d love, like candy — Hi-Chews or Nerds Ropes, specifically, as he once told Esquire — or maybe two matching pairs of socks for him and his canine BFF, George.
While, sadly, I don’t know too much about Gosling’s personal likes and dislikes, there is one thing I know for certain I (or anyone, for that matter) should most definitely not get him for his birthday: a bow tie. It might sound counterintuitive, considering I can’t think of many other humans that look as good in a tux as he does. But, after watching him fumble with his tie on one red carpet after another, it’s clear that he really hates them. Doesn’t he just look so uncomfortable? Suffocated, even? And that’s the last way that Gosling should feel on his birthday.
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So, if you’re like me and dreaming up hypothetical birthday gifts to give Baby Goose on this wonderful day, make sure that a bow tie isn’t on your list. Unless, of course, you want to see him make his signature scrunched-up nose/furrowed brow/”get me out of this thing” face. That face.